The Magic Wand Output of 2016...

The aims for this new year are giving me more clarity to raise myself this year. Sharing them with others on a public platform is re-affirming commitment to myself. And it will be fun to check back with the progress I make at the end of the year (considering how much I have bragged about the last year's intentions working out!).

• Learn to write in cursive. I have always loved how beautiful cursive looks, but have always struggled to read them  and never considered to learn. Since I have been digging into Montessori methods, I have learned the neurological  benefits of cursive writing. There lied my inspiration, to learn them and to teach them. J already knows his prints, we are going to take a backwards route but it will be a fun thing to learn together for sure.

• Get rid of clutter and get more organized. The Montessori mantra of 'There is place for everything and everything has a place' is my reminder everyday. Living in a small (Texas standards, not New York, hell, that will be our bedroom only!, a real struggle to cope, oops!) apartment feels like a bliss at this time, as there is less to clean or may be it fills up so quickly, I need to find ways to go through what to keep and what to depart from. Good mind exercise as I have to get over my emotions to the things. Byproduct is emotional independence, ahem ahem! 

• Simplify and slow down. The great invention of Internet has it's personalities, good and evil (Am I learning it just now?). It has a lot to inspire and guide through, with abilities to distract and get lost into. Oh dear Pinterest, I love you as much as I am afraid of you. Sometimes those inspirations have made me take trips to Target to check out their Dollar spot, the higher version of Dollar Tree and part of Walmart (Target makes it look a lot better). Anyway, after a year of doing so, I am learning to get creative, using pen, paper, sharpie, pair of scissors, etc to make things simple without spending time, energy and imagination of that purchase in my head, how J would enjoy the activities which sometime stays there forever and he doesn't look beyond opening the package. So the aim is to simply spend time together, enjoy low paced days and learn in creative ways.

• Love without judgement. The trap of judging people without knowing them was not letting me see myself very clearly, I mean I would get mad if someone would judge me (and I come to know about it), though I never thought about it the other way round. Last year I met some beautiful people, who were so very welcoming and open minded, patient and amazingly good listeners (tolerating the talkative me is not easy). They have inspired me to commit to this intention this year deeply.

• Be myself and rock it. The pure Gujarati street food, 'Bhel' I made at a party that was dominant by  Americans, I was super excited for them to taste my home town dish (By the way, I love Texans' love for everything hot and spicy). Oh, I was sinking when people started to come around the serving area, looking at my dish (I knew, I screwed up with presentation + thinking of a street food at a party - which is loved at even weddings in India though) and passing by without picking up the plate, looking at it with strange eyes.  Then came this mom, who probably got my feelings, asked me how to put it together, I showed and boy! everybody was suddenly interested and loving it, I was asked for recipes. I realized, there is no need to change to blend in, people are very accepting of others as they are and of-course their food. 

• Read. Reading for J has changed my way of choosing a book for myself as well. I am forever grateful for the libraries in the US. I mean such a treasure they contain for everyone and about every topic. This year I intend to read at least one book per month for myself. Period. The list must include books by Janet Lansbury and RIE philosophy (I am falling in love with), Maya Angelou and Robin Sharma. I never accepted that one should ever raise a child by reading about it in a book and I was TOTALLY wrong. A book can simply give another perspective, offer another way to solve an issue, another reason to raise beyond self, another idea to implement, another commitment to make, another dream to dream, another hand to hold, another reminder to be and to live fully.  

• Choose kind words. Terry Ryan notes her moms words in her book, The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio, "There are so many interesting words to use, alone or in combination, that I don't know why anyone would fall back on one-syllable obscenities ('Negative words' - as I read it)." Being an emotional person, I always used to sink down at every occasion of sad words used for me, almost forgetting there are so many kind words people in my life have described me with. So the decision is made to model J of a kind person, who knows how to use right words with gratitude toward life and people called friends, family and strangers.

Journaling...

"Your days are, your life in miniature, craft your days the way you want to live your life" - Robin Sharma.

Journaling sounded so posh when I used to read about wise people doing it as a ritual. When I started writing soon after J's first birthday, it was an attempt to write about how he is growing and learning things everyday, something like a progress report. Before I know, I was writing about my own state of mind on particular set of thoughts, from something I watched on telly to the Bollywood song I danced at the tune of, from getting conscious about the eyebrows raised at me to embracing my own weak moments. 

One thing I always made sure that I never described any particular situation as it appeared to me on the first experience and never explained anything. As I was writing in the early morning, there always was a chance to sleep over it and see through as how I was actually feeling about. I often ended up writing about how can I help myself in tough emotional times and at the end how long did it take to be myself again. I learned how did I take excitement of doing something new, reading those sweet notes written to me, made most of those sunny days of Houston winter, completing that book I borrowed from library which is due the next morning (I seriously feel like ninja when I do this). I had to write, to see clearly where I was and where I am headed, how much I have achieved and what is needed to be worked on. For once I was guiding myself on my path, I was writing my own journey of important lessons and inspiring myself to raise higher, just by writing.

In the beginning of 2015, I followed Robin (Sharma)'s advice on writing my 'Magic Wand output of the year', Simply wrote down How do I see myself in all different aspects of life at the end of the year. I never thought of how, what, where or when, just wrote down as if I had a magic wand to make it all happen. And it ALL did. Just like that. I planned and worked to live up to my intentions, but the life took a detour, things changed in many ways and the result today is just magical. I literally feel the grace of the universal guidance.

After experiencing the power of journaling, I naturally wanted J to participate in one of his own. We are working on it. A few things I keep in mind to guide him through and make it happen in coming years are;

• My journal is never hidden and kept secret, J (actually anyone and everyone) is allowed to flip through pages, anytime he want to.
• He is allowed to scribble through it at his will, may it be with a pencil or a marker as long as he is gentle and don't rip off pages.
• I write in front of him as often I can.
• I talk to him about what do I write in there, whenever he shows interest.

• I do ask him what he would like to write in his or offer him help if he want to share mine.

Letter to J: Calm down mumma...

Dear Jay,

It was lunch time. I have been feeding you your meals with on and off trials of helping you get independent in this area. But your efforts were totally depended on the menu, literally. 

I remember why I didn't let you eat by yourself in the first place, I didn't like the long hour of sitting at the table and waiting for you to finish. Neither I wanted you to sit all by yourself eating the same 'roti' you have in the plate since an hour, while I finish rest of the cleaning. staring at you while you eat or repeating the 'Hurry up' mantra for the entire meal was sure to make both of us nervous. No, I did not want that. I was not ready. The idea of Baby Lead Weaning aka BLW was only working in my head, not out on the plate.

Yet, the other day, I was reminding you 'again' to take the next bite, with higher pitch than normal, feeling helpless if you would ever enjoy your own meals eating with your own hands. You looked at me, peeping straight into my eyes, embracing me with the words, "Calm Down Mumma" and took a couple of deep breaths, showing me how to. At that moment, I felt loved and cared, more than ever. You knew, I needed that.

(The snack basket filled with some of your likes and some of mine)

And there came a day, when I made a snack basket for you. Filling it with three small containers of different food. I tried to keep variety of food and kept a note of what you like and what not. Also made sure to have something you would absolutely love in one of them, like a cookie or two, the sugery stuff you know, plus a small bowl. It totally worked. You taught yourself to take the snack in the bowl and put the empty container on the counter, so I know it needs a refill. It was a simple put together of what you can handle independently, in a little corner of kitchen cubby. We have worked on opening and closing jars and bottles before, so  I knew you could help yourself confidently.

To my surprise, you have chosen healthy stuff, home made stuff and tried more variety than I have thought you would, especially with that cookie right in front. Not that you left the cookie alone, but your choices were well balanced. In the past few days I have seen a significant change in your meal time self feeding as well, it is a good one. We are not Hundred percent there but we are moving forward with firm footsteps. The taste of independence is always sweet son, always.

Love,
mom.

Letters to J : for the love of life

Dear Jay,

When you love life, it loves you back unconditionally. what matters is when you say 'yes' to life. It is always there giving you opportunities, one after another and you are receiving whether you know it or not. Being aware is when you notice them and follow your heart. The soul you are, is always guiding you to tune with the rhythm of life. Being aligned with your self, you'll naturally make better choices, find yourself looking for solutions rather than getting tangled in why's, who's and how's. That is the gift from the universe you'll receive for being aware.

It doesn't mean you won't make choices that will throw you down head first or bruise your knees but you will notice, learn, rise to be a better you than a day before. It is a life long process and there will always be something to open your mind at. There is a life that exists, there is a heart that welcomes, there is a mind that opens and together they surrender to the universe. To me that universe is (lord)Krishna and I know you'll meet your Krishna on the journey as soon as you will open your self up. 

I still see a day in the future where we are sitting in our garden, on our beloved swings, reading Kajal Oza Vaidya's 'Krishnayan', discussing it and sharing our feelings over a cup of coffee. This book has always given me a reminder that in good or bad, he is with me to guide through the ocean of emotions. He is there within me, part of the soul I am, helping me raise beyond myself, comforting me on the journey everyday. He holds my hand when I meditate, joins me for the morning coffee, become the words when I write. I can cry when I am upset, I can blame him when I fail to find ways out, I can ask him to help and he stays there giving me his shoulder to cry, lends me his ears until I aggressively pour my anger out and reminds me of the ways that lead me to myself. I know you'll find him too on the journey of life, when you'll open yourself up.   

Today I remember Dr, Fred Epstein's words, "God doesn't heal us, it is not his job. If he had to heal us, he wouldn't give us the pain in the first place." Instead, he creates us with all the resources, skills, power of possibilities to craft our life. Our interactions with others create our experiences and our perspective leads our actions. So always remember, the world is a very beautiful place and you will always find friends and family who will love you for who you are; but at the end, You are your best ally, for others can only understand you, can not feel what you feel. Your emotions are all your own, joy or sorrow, let them just be and be your best friend.

With love,
mom.

'Today' tray...

J have been singing the Days of the week song for a long time now, so I thought of making an activity to identify 'The Day' everyday.

First I painted dolls pins and clothes pins in rainbow colors to associate with the days, cut rainbow rectangles out of felt and wrote name of the days on colored Popsicle sticks. The reason behind making more than one options, was to give him a variety to choose from. In any case, the clothes pins and dolls pins were sure to help with pincer grip and hand eye co-ordination. The brightly colored felt pieces were very attractive and he enjoys identifying the day from the beginning sound written on the popsicle sticks.

We started with singing the 'Days of the week' song followed by introduction to the popsicle sticks. The obvious confusion was between Saturday & Sunday and Tuesday & Thursday. We talked about 'reading' ahead up to two or three or more letters to identify what it says. His curiosity about words and their formations and instinctive efforts to 'read' at early age, made it possible. When I brought the tray out, he instantly started matching Popsicle sticks and felt pieces and then grab matching cars from his vehicle box (oh! the car lover).

Next day, I brought the clothes pins and used my fingers and thumb in pinching motion to show him how to open and close.Then we sang the 'Days of the week' song in slow motion taking time to associate colors with the days. He grabbed the box of felt pieces and started to clip each with corresponding pin.

The following day we used the dolls pins placing on the sides of a bowl the same way to reinforce days of the week and color connection. By now he could associate them almost correctly. Then I left everything out for him to explore at his will, his way. He has mostly used dolls pins or Popsicle sticks for the tray.

Another part of our 'Today' tray contains,  weather symbols. I cut some simple felt shapes like Sun, Clouds, a Raindrop and Lightening. As it rarely snows in Houston, I haven't created a snow flake that is not going to be used. He checks the weather outside and pulls the weather piece/s out. He loves the cloud cutout, so it's almost everyday cloudy in our 'Today' tray, that goes in combination with sunny or rainy or stormy. I am looking at the ideas to add a single piece windy symbol that does not require gluing or painting. 

  
We also have a season representation in our tray, which has come from our Autumn activity. A planter with two sticks, on which I attached some  fuzzy sticks keeping a long open end. Then I provided J with some hand cut card stock leaves in fall colors to attach to the leaves on fuzzy sticks. He added some acorns at the base and  brought his squirrel finger puppet to eat them. He also asked me to make a bed (with two pillows - he insisted) for the squirrel so she can rest. As we saw the leaves falling off the trees outside our window, he was inspired to take some leaves off our fall tree, making it bare signifying winter. We will then be replacing this planter with little Christmas tree to represent Christmas time. This tree presentation will change with season.

This tray is something he has very actively participated in putting together and loves to  work with every day.